I got this from a site that archived rec.humor.funny long ago, but it's probably on the net elsewhere as well.
[I got this from my brother who got it from somebody at work.]
If you have half a brain, you can't help but notice the throng of publications, analists and net users declaring Windows 95 the Saviour of the Computer Industry. If you have less than half a brain, you probably believe it. Could it be?
Let's compare Windows 95 against a widely-accepted Saviour, Jesus of Nazareth:
| Jesus | Windows 95 |
| ---------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------ |
| Said, "Surely I come quickly." | Has been promised "any day now." |
| Is taking a lot longer to actually arrive | Is taking a lot longer to actually arrive. |
| Can walk on water. | Can crawl on a 486. |
| Sits in judgement at the pearly gates. | Will be used to judge Bill Gates. |
| Bible says, "In Him, all things are possible." | Windows 95 doesn't even run all possible Windows apps. |
| Started life as a carpenter. | Turns perfectly good computers into furniture. |
| Born in a manger. | Resembles something found in a barn. |
| Remembered for protecting the weak. | Has weak memory protection. |
| Was raised from the dead. | Was created from Windows 3.1. |
| Jesus performed great works for the multitudes | Windows 95 multitasking performance barely works. |
| Jesus has no sin. | Windows 95 has no shame. |
